Poolside Rails

Well, it’s been a long week since the last posting. Many things have happened along the Paris to Peking Railway (the Poolside Route). Electrification of the China Section is moving along slowly but steadily…poles are in the design stage, just waiting for assembly and wire. Wire?

“What,” coughs the Chief Engineer, “did ye expect to run electricity through? Cat gut?”

“Oh dear,” says the CEO as he pushes his plate of pâté away, “I can’t face that.”

“What? Ye mean cat gut? Make ye squeamy does it?”

The Chief Engineer is on to his fifth stout, so he’s getting a little feisty.

“I’m simply asking why we’re waiting for wire, that’s all,” huffs the CEO, eyeing his pâté sadly. “I see tons of wire around here!”

“It’s a question of scale,” the CFO mutters into his brandy. “You have to run fine telephone wire down the poles if you want them to look properly proportioned.”

“Don’t we have wire like that?”  The CEO gingerly takes a bite of the pâté, looks around the room, and then takes a wolfing mouthful.

“No,” the Chief Engineer says, quickly,  “all we got is cat guts…fresh, gooey cat guts as far as the eye can see.”

The CEO loses the pâté, and the Chief Engineer doubles over in laughter.

I’ve rifled the local home convenience stores for the right gauge of wire, but haven’t found it yet. Radio Shack is the next stop, and I’m certain I’ll find it there.  The telephone poles are simple affairs of ¼ inch diameter dowel with a ¼ inch square cross bar. I haven’t figured out insulators yet…that’s the hold up.

BUT THE LOCOMOTIVE WINDOWS ARE DONE!!! It took some nerve, I can tell you, to abandon the loopy ovals and go with the groovy schwoop, but I think it looks much better. I freehand drew the schwoop on the right side of the cab…the side that was free of my creative oval-making. It was actually kind of easy.

I freehand drew the schwoop on the lower portion of the cab with a Sharpie marker, taking the edge down a rather gentle curve from around the horizontal center of the old windowsill to the tab on the back that holds the cab to the locomotive. The I took the Simul Tool (the simulated Dremel Tool from Target…yes, it’s kind of rough, and the variable speed seems to vary without you having to do a thing!…but it was twenty bucks!) and the steel cutter blade and zipped it along the curve as easy as you please…it took a lot of nerve to cut off the roof support. Once that was gone the Americaness of the cab evaporated.

Next I took a piece of white sheet styrene and cut and sanded it until it fit smoothly inside the empty window frame. Using the Sharpie I continued the schwoop from where it ended on the window frame, reversing the loop, and freehandedly carried it around to the top of the window frame.

Et, viola, ze groovy schwoop! I used an X-acto knife to cut the schwoop in the styrene.

That was the easy side. It was the left side of the cab, the fireman’s side, which presented the real challenge. Someone appears to have cut a couple of ovals into the side of the cab!

“Here, ye pinheaded geek, ‘twas you what done it!” Everyone eyes the Chief Engineer warily, knowing that the next stout gets him in the mood to fistfight.

First I tried cutting a piece of styrene that replicated the schwoop on the right side but included oval fillets for the windows I’d cut out. Oh, I tried. No luck…no matter how carefully I traced the schwoop on the other side, and how carefully I measured and traced the ovals, no fit could be made. It was a tough go, I tell you.

Then it occurred to me that I could be lazy and simply panel over the left side with a big piece of styrene. I eagerly traced the schwoop from the right side onto a piece of styrene roofing material…HO scale stuff with a nice board patterned molded right in…and slapped it over the side of the cab. Success! Except…

There was a raised railing that runs horizontally down the center of the cab. Not anymore. The Simul Tool with a sanding bit took that little sucker, and a little bit more here and there, right off.

So, there you see it, the groovy schwoopie Europeanificated Bachmann Not-So-Big Hauler. Notice, if you will, the shortened smokestack, too. Oh, trés French!

Of course, if you were the engineer, you might not think so much of the design. No side windows to keep the wind out, no trip protection from the lowered sills, and no way to get out of the smoke from that short stack!

“Aw,” the Chief Engineer staggers to his feet, “ye’re all a buncha idiots!”

Well, that’s it for the board meeting. Everyone knows what happens when the Chief Engineer stands up after the sixth stout. They all scramble for the door!

The locomotive? Well, a little putty, a little paint, you’ll never even notice the work!